What They Don’t Tell You About Compromising in Your Marriage

The first piece of marital advice I ever heard was  “the key to a healthy marriage is compromise.” I learned rather quickly, compromise didn’t seem to be helping my outlook on my marriage. The issue I ran into was, after a while it seemed like I was the only one compromising.

Let’s be honest fellas, compromise makes us feel like we lost. In the beginning of the relationship, we’re open to compromise because what’s one compromise going to hurt right?  But it’s not the first compromise that’s the problem or the second, it’s the hundred-and-second compromise where our instincts kick in and we say to ourselves “not this time!” 

Here is an exercise to drive home the point: 

Google the word compromise. In the definition you will see a word that sticks out concessions. In that definition, you will see another word that sticks out, concede. Concede means to surrender. 

Isn’t that interesting?  By definition, compromise is a synonym for quit, give up, and submit. After a series of compromises guys, it’s not a coincidence you feel like your manhood is being infringed on.

The compromise approach creates an environment where resentment for your partner thrives.

 If you can relate to holding resentment and want to stop feeling emasculated or if you want to avoid resenting your partner all together here is a tactful approach that will serve you.

Tactful Approach: Collaborate with your partner.

The definition that best suits a relationship is working jointly to create something. 

Here is the thing guys, you can’t change your partner but you can change the environment of the relationship. 

To create an environment of collaboration there are  

Two steps.

Step One- Attitude

When she brings up something and you’re visibly frustrated or your tonality isn’t loving, one of you will have to compromise. 

To avoid that, consciously think about wanting to work with her. Instead of feeling bothered by her requests, be open to her suggestions. She is your partner, remember that!

Step Two- Approach

Think back to when you and your partner got together. How did you approach things? Did you smile? Did you change your voice to sound more soothing to her? 

Your approach is significantly influenced by your attitude.  

Here is the bottom line guys, If you collaborate with her versus compromising with her it will change how you show up for her. 

If you want to renew your relationship and restore your marriage with tried and true tactics 

Book a free 30 min discovery call with me today!  

https://calendly.com/mcfarlandcoaching